Two Vampires In Hogwarts
by DarknessZ
Summary: Alucard and Seras go on a mission to Hogwarts and wreck havoc in the school of magic!
1. Two Vampires in Hogwarts

Chapter One: The Beginning

Chapter One: The Beginning

-Alucard?

-Yes Master?

-You are going to school –Integra said, and pictured Alucard's reaction. It wasn't long…

-WHAT!? – Alucard jumped from his chair. His Jackal fell from his pocket and all of its 15 kilograms hit Alucard's foot. For that, Alu gave out a long citation from the Gospel, which resulted in ash-tray flying off Integra's table and hitting him between the eyes.

-You're going on a mission, YOU MORON!!

Alucard immediately calmed down, imagining lots and lots of delicious children. He loved a fresh snack with 10-15 years of quality.

-You're taking the Police girl with you too and there be better no death among the children out there!!

-But what if I'm…

-I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ANYTHING!!

The Vampire killer signed and went looking for Victoria. Blonde and red eyed vampire was… oh my god! READING!! Alucard decided that it is not his day: he didn't expect anything like that from the police girl. When coming closer he read: "101 ways to charm a man". Feeling that something bad is going to happen right now Alucard said:

-We have a new mission!

Victoria quickly looked in the book and replied:

-Wonderful Masta! Do you know hmmmm…. You look so charming today…

Alucard who has managed to read her thoughts just in time, remained calm. But Pip didn't. The world has probably never heard anyone laugh so hard. Pip was lying on the floor and banging his head. Alucard gently helped him thus calming Pip down for a few hours. Then, Alucard emotionlessly drew out his Cassul and destroyed the book.

-Fiction IS EVIL!! Better read an encyclopedia or something…

-Which one?

-The big one dammit!!

-Yes Masta…

2 hours later

-You will go there as a teacher of Defense from Dark Arts and his exhibit. They die like flies there anyway…

-Who? The exhibits?

-No teachers, you idiot! You are departing from the platform… WTF? 9 and ¾. Whatever, it's not my problem. Here are the tickets, now Go! …Amen….

Meanwhile

-Hooray Harry, the school begins soon!!

-Yea, cool, I wonder who is our new teacher?

-Well boys, I have a bad feeling about this…

To be Continued


	2. Hogwarts Express

Chapter Two: Hogwarts Express

-Masta, we're here!

-I can see, thank you! And where the f is that dumb platform?

-Maybe in-between?

-Well it's easy to check – Alucard goes through the wall. Victoria remains outside. Even in this crazy place, people were staring at her. You must agree that people that go through walls can be excused, but a girl with a really long case and 2 coffins cannot be ignored. Suddenly a hand came out of the wall and pulled Seras in.

-Oh! A red train! Cool!

- (sarcastically) yeah, it really brings up your eyes, police girl….

Victoria didn't get the joke and went to look for an empty compartment

-Police Girl!

-Wha?

-What's in that knapsack?

-An encyclopedia…

-What encyclopedia??

-A big one!

"Whataretard..." – Alucard thought trying to remember his joke. You can't even make fun of her, she's so dumb, and it's not even funny… He came in his compartment, dropped the coffins and Victoria's Harkonnen on the empty seat near Seras adding it to the picture of her, trying to read a huge encyclopedia volume. "I should've given her something that easier to read…" Suddenly three teens squeezed in compartment, between the coffins and the Harkonnen. Alucard started staring at them VERY closely. They were quietly chatting. One girl was talking without stopping, the guys – red haired and a nerdish looking one were listening to her. "Looks like Integra in her childhood" – Alucard thought – "She too loved to book everyone who was near." The children became quiet and stared at the vampire:

-Are you the new teacher?

-Maybe…

-My name is Hermione Granger, I'm the best student, and I know everything! (Then, for about half an hour there was an unstoppable flow of information going out the girl's mouth about some wands and spells) Then suddenly Victoria put her head up and looked at the talking without stopping geek. Then, Seras said a word, just one word that have stunned everyone, even Alucard

- Synchrophasotron…

…and continued reading. After being stunned for about half an hour, the nerdish looking boy said:

-What is your name, sir?

-Alucard…

-And mine is Harry Potter

-…congratulations…………………………………

The trio has exchanged amazed glances. Then, the door of the compartment has opened. There was a white haired sniveler and two others standing. Alucard's hand started reaching for the Jackal. The boy looked just like Anderson and Maxwell. Two in one dammit….

-Who is this guy? – asked the boy with lots of scorn in his voice

-This is Professor Alucard!

When heard "professor Alucard", Victoria fell on the floor and started laughing insanely. Alucard cried, grabbed everyone and kicked them out of compartment.

-If anyone else will call me a professor, I WILL BITE HIS HEAD OFF!! – Alucard screamed

-Yes Masta……hahahasorry………..

"Maybe the reading of intellectual literature gave her some sense of humor…"

In two compartments away from them were the Valentine brothers, hiding under the seats. Why? Who knows…? Probably because I needed to add some secondary characters to the story, but shut up! The official version will be that Voldemort needed spies at Hogwarts

- (Voldemort speaking) I've heard the new teacher is coming to Hogwarts and he is really powerful

- What are you going to do my Lord?

-Do not worry. I've send two of the best killers you could ever find

(SUCH AN IDIOT LOLOLOLOLOL)


	3. The Distribution

Chapter Three: The distribution, or how is it called…

-It's a pretty big castle, bigger then mine in Transylvania… - a former count sadly said

-Whatever, Masta maybe we'll pri-va-tize this one – said Seras, while reading the book

"No she IS actually becoming smarter. And gaining some sense of humor too. And it's all just in six hours!" – Alucard slowly understood what a big mistake he has done. In the instructions they should've gone straight into the castle and that's what they did. Alucard, who was tired of looking at the exhausted Police girl, used his old method. Only Walter has heard of it. A big, black coffin quickly walked on its hands with Alucard and Seras on top of it. It quickly ran by some carriages with batlike horses. "Hmmm, maybe I should get one for the decorations" – Alucard thought…

The castle was really a pretty big one. They were met by some guy with long black hear. His look was dreary but when he saw a moving coffin, he immediately threw away the weed he was smoking. "Noooooo, screw that, I tell you, screw everything. WTF is happening? Some Japanese dudes walking around on a moving coffin, selling some h!t." "You can also wash your head you know" – Alucard thought while looking at the guy

-I'm Professor Severus Snape, I'll show you the way – the guy said

-Let's go then, handsome –Victoria replied

Two really mad pairs of eyes were staring at her. One pair, slowly looked down on the appendages to the face. The other one thought "I think I'm going mad… Poor Pip, she will kill him with her brains…"

Meanwhile

-Jan, Jan, get out…

-Luke, dude, why the f did we come here?!

-One guy wanted to pay us for destroying some castle, I don't know…

-Hell Yeah!! Of !it we'll have some fun f

Several minutes later. Hogwarts

-This is the Big Hall. Here are your seats

-And what about food?

-Umm what?

-Darling, we drink blood

-ARE YOU TWO VAMPIRES?!

-Yeah, Masta's really bad. Hey, Masta, maybe Sir Integra forgot to tell them?

-Yeah it's possible

Alucard sat down, put his legs on the table and started staring at the students. Some guy with a long beard was talking some crap about some random stuff. Then came the smallest children, they were standing near an old hat on a stool. It started singing. !#&()!#&()!? "I should stop drinking Walter's tea….yeah…..

The hat was a few seconds away from its death. Alucard almost shot it, just to be able to think more clearly.

-Let me introduce your new teacher – said the bearded guy – PROFESSOR ALUCARD!!

Next events occurred according to this schedule:

1) Applause

2) Cassul is pulled out

3) Victoria's scream "Get Down, you old #!!"

4) A sound of a moving breech

5) The brand smile

6) A shot

7) A fired-through hat falls on the ground

This scene took approximately as much time as it takes to say: "Lord Alucard is really accurate and 13mm bullets are really dangerous for your health"

-NEXT TIME IF SOMEONE CALLS ME A PROFESSOR HE WILL GET HIS SKIN RIPPED OFF!! DO YOU UNDERSTAND, BASTARDS!? – The vampire screamed

A few people got out from under the tables, nodded and got back under. But the first night in school was a success.

-Have you seen him?

- Suuuper duuude…

-He's a real monster!

-That was so cool…

-LOL what's gonna happen next?

-Retards! Have you seen the hot girl near him?

(Naïve guys LOLOLOLOLOL)


	4. First Class

Chapter Four: First Class

-Masta, that was too much!

-Well how could I know that this old guy got this h!t from Integra. Thank God he only hit me with this stupid cross once…

Half an hour before

After the hat incident, Dumbledore decided to spend a little education time with Alu. He took out a little red envelope and led Alucard to his study. Alucard, however didn't like it, because the decorations included a huge aspen cross and a large number of garlic. Dumbledore opened the envelope. As a result, Alucard got a huge stress. It was his worst nightmare. Integra's voice filled the room:

-Obey! Behave yourself!! Don't kill anyone!!

…and a few other important warnings

In the end, Dumbledore got an approval to be a vampire master until the end of the operation. Professor signed and said:

-Lady Integra gave me a list if there will be some disturbance.

In the next few days Alucard, however has broken one law. But a few times. Here's how it happened. He found out, that the paintings here can speak. It was all the Police Girl's fault. Some count got carried away by her figure. And Victoria obviously got really confused and has blown away the wall with her Harkonnen. The paintings started screaming. Alucard made about ten headshots. Then he said:

-A painting is a stationary art

Therefore – be quiet and don't move. That's how the paintings found it out. A few students made the same assumptions.

The second incident happened when Alucard found out that there are ghosts in the castle

-BAAAAAAA, count Erik!! Anything hurts after the umm "stake accident"?

-You… You?

-I'm already 500 years me. Don't show up here or I'll finish you off

-Ha! You can't! I'm already dead!

Vampire laughed. He transformed into mist, grabbed the ghost by the throat and hit the head of the wall a few times. Then took his Jackal aimed in Baron's head and said to everyone:

-If you thought that it's impossible to hurt a ghost – you were wrong

The ghost screamed so loud, that all the glass broke in a radius of about 20 meters around them: Alucard shot away Baron's finger. It grew back, but it was really painful

-Remember, I have lots of bullets.

This way the ghosts understood that they'd better not argue with Alucard. Now everyone has made that assumption. Therefore, when Alu was walking around in the castle everything in the radius of 100 meters froze and didn't move.

On the second morning, Harry and Ron came in the common room. There they saw Hermione hitting the wall with her head. The effect was amazing. Chunks of concrete were flying off the ceiling and breaking when hitting the girls head.

-What happened?

-I'm dumb, I'm an idiot!

-Why?

-I can't find the word synchrophasotron in the library!!

-Whatever. You can ask… Where is our class taking place?

-In the dungeon

Students were slowly coming in the dungeon. In the corner, near the teacher's table was Victoria who was reading a book. "No, I just can't not prank them" – Alucard thought

The door shut abruptly. The locks clicked. Everyone started shivering. Alucard flew in through the ceiling. He showed his teeth and move towards the scared students. Everyone ran towards the opposite wall. Many of them thought "That's it #". Alucard moved closer

- Where is the attendance book?

- Onnnnnnnnnn tttttttttthhhhhhhhhee tttttttttttabbbbbbbbbbllllllllllle…. – chattered the prefect

-Well then you can live – Alucard smiled and thought: "If I can't eat them, I'll at least make all of them commit a suicide or something…"

-Well… Today we'll learn about vampires. Who can tell me the ways of fighting them?

Everyone was silent.

Slowly, a shaking hand went up. Hermione began telling, trying not to make any sudden movements.

- Sounds like truth – Alucard said – Victoria, come to the middle of the class

-Yes Masta!

- Here is the example of a genuine vampire – Seras stuck out her chest and pouted. The male part of the class gulped.

Clang. BAM! The body fell down. Blood splattered on the floor. The class froze. A few people were quietly throwing up.

-That's how you fight the undead

-Masta, you could've at least warned me!! What if I get like an infraction or something, what's then?

-That's salt, you idiot!

When the corpse started talking all the class ran towards the exit. They broke the door, leaving 5 or 6 lying bodies behind. Only some splinters remained from the desks. Only, in the middle of the class some fat guy was trying to dig in the floor. And the most interesting thing is that he managed to do that. He got about half a meter deep into the stone, when he realized, that there is no door there

- What happened to them masta? Maybe they're sick?

-Maybe they are. Next time I'll bring the coffin with me, we'll show them the habitat

Valentine Brothers were waiting. Snape was thinking of a plan how to not harm himself and get rid of the evil teacher. Many students were thinking about the same thing. And no one from these retards knew that Alucard can read minds.

Luke:

-We need to go and check what's going out there

-Luke, dude, let's just go and f#(!&g kill everyone!

-Well….

-Come on, man, we'll wipe them out!

-Ok, ok let's go


	5. Adventures in the Night

Chapter Five: Adventures in the Night

Loud demonic laugh

-Come on Police girl, we need to patrol that castle

-Why Masta?

-Let's go, walk through some bedrooms…

-But that's masochism!! YOU CAN'T LOOK AT FOOD AND NOT EAT IT!! We need to eat something… someone…

-We need to check the castle anyway. Who knows who lives here…?

-Ugh let's go

Meanwhile

-We need to try to sneak in the library and find out what synchrophasotron is!

-Why Hermione??

-It can be really important, you idiots!

-Meet me here, at 1 AM!

-Are you tired from sitting here, you poor thing? Well go, take a walk!

The coffin waved its back hand and happily ran away, to take a walk in the castle

Alucard checked his guns and went patrolling the castle. Victoria grabbed the Harkonnen and went patrolling the grounds. She saw a village, not far away and decided to visit it in the morning. Three retards were slowly sneaking towards the library. Valentine Brothers were just sneaking. Alucard was sneaking with a goal. Professor Snape was walking with weed in his mouth. But he didn't enjoy the highness. He was depressed ever since the vampire got here. Suddenly, he heard something moving behind him. Snape turned around but saw nothing. The coffin was quietly crawling on the ceiling. He hasn't been smoking for half of the century. A hand landed on Snape's shoulder. Behind him, was a two-meter coffin. With arms. He took away the weed, put it in a crack and ran away. Snape was lagging for about two hours and was silently trying to understand what have just happened. Then, he went to his study. There was a little bit left there. He started smoking again. Suddenly, a red-eyed bat got out from under the cupboard.

-Why do you feel so bad?

-Well, there's a new vampire in school who took my place.

-You want to get rid of him?

-Yeah, but how?

-That's how………………………………….

Near the library, the three idiots met the other two.

-Hey, bro, someone else is here

-Yes, I can sense them…

Luke followed the smell and pulled away the invisibility robe.

-FOOD!! – Jan yelled

-What are you doing here? – asked Victoria. Harkonnen gently hit Jan in the back of his head.

-YOOOOUUUUU!? Then you're with….

-You are so smart, yes I'm here too – Alucard said, going out of the wall.

-Um, Luke, we're screwed

-Definitely – The cheery vampire hunter said. I give you 30 seconds

Loud thumping,

-Oh, free food!

-Yeah, let's blame all on these retards. Remember children, disobeying the rules is dangerous for your health….

-AAAAAAAAH, I'll kill you!! – Snape screamed and launched himself onto Victoria with a stolen cross

Alucard teleported behind Snape and shot him.

-Ah h!t, I forgot to change the bullets. It's still salt. But anyway, he won't be able to seat down for a long time… And where are the other three?

-Ran away

-Lucky bastards…

-Masta, look what I bought

-What the hell is that?

-Lollipops with blood flavor. They're so good!

-Mmm, delicious!

Next morning

-Professor, please, sit down

-No, thanks, I can eat, while standing…

-Potter, Granger, Wealsey! Prof… I mean, Lord Alucard told me, that you broke the rules!

-But he almost ate us!!

-Detention!

-Yes, professor McGonagall (I'm not sure I spelled this right)

-If you love the adventure so much, you will go to the forbidden forest!!

-Nooooo!!


	6. The Forest

Chapter Six: The Forest

Alucard was bored again. There was nothing to do. Students didn't want to come to his classes. The principal couldn't talk them into it. It could've been so much fun… And the coffin was stoned for some reason… Why did it go to the owls? It was spitting out the feathers for two hours now. It even ate about ten owls and didn't throw up… Exhausted with these global thoughts, the vampire was silently cleaning the guns. But it's a day right now, so it's time to go to sleep.

Snape couldn't recover from the last night. And from the five bullets of salt, from which, there were in his a too. Madam Pomfree has wasted 2 hours to get them out. Plus, he was out of weed. But maybe the last point was for the better. Snape collected all the literature on vampires to get rid of Alucard. As a result, he decided, that the best way is to get the vampire, out in the light. But he has to get along with a girl, even if she is red-eyed.

Seras was looking for a way to feed herself. She was hungry… very hungry. She could probably last one more week, but then…

Victoria entered the sick quarters and asked:

-Is there any blood left?

The nurse shivered and backed out a few meters:

-No, but we have some blood-regaining potion

-Give it to me!

Victoria grabbed the bottle and hurried back to the dungeon. She didn't offer the potion to her masta, maybe it's poisonous? Seras decided to try it first on herself. She drank half a bottle and howled. The potion was disgusting.

-Maaastaaaa, heeelp!!

-What is it now?

-Here… I drank this…

-You idiot, it's for mortals!!

BAM!! Seras collapsed on the floor.

-Lucky. I was trying to find myself in the mirror yesterday. I've found Arthur for some reason. I'd better starve for a while.

Several hours later. Evening

-Masta, why do we have to look in the forest?

-I don't know, I think we might find something useful there…

-Why did the give us students to help? As a snack?

-Maybe, but they don't know it yet

-You will go with a new teacher

-Noooooooooo!! We're dooooomed!! We're going to die!! – Ron screamed

-It's your fault! Now go!!

The forest was getting closer. Alucard's figure loomed not so far away. The rule breakers were trembling in fear of close (and maybe painful) death.

-Oh, the snacks are here! – Seras yelled happily

Mass faint. After a half an hour, everybody has entered the forest.

-Mmmmmisssttttterrrr Allllucccarrrdd?

-Huh?

-Ddddo you know about Who-Must-Not-Be-Named?

-Who-Must-Not-Where-What? Who is this guy?

-The most powerful dark wizard! Voldemort!!

-Whatever, if I meet him, I'll let you know…

Students exchanged amazed looks. After walking in the forest for two hours, Alucard has finally found the stuff he was looking for – the ghouls.

-Well, let's start the hands-on learning. Destroy them.

The children shouted some spells and went hiding behind the trees. The corpses kinda didn't care at all. Alucard killed them (the ghouls). After tasting someone's leg (mass faint) he said

-Not fresh…

As a result, he found out that there is a lot of stuff that moves in the forest that can be killed. After that, during the night, you could hear loud screams, shrieks, and loud, merry cusses. Alucard was coming back I the morning, without bullets, but veeeery happy. The forester, who tried to defend the rights of the animals, was taken in a party. After shooting from Harkonnen he cried for a while, and said that he was not right. From this point on, the loud cussing were heard in two voices.

-Masta?

-Wha?

-What happened?

-I don't remember

-Why is everyone so scared?

-I don't remember that too

-Screw you, masta…

-…


	7. Good Hunt!

Chapter Seven: Good hunt (But what the hell has happened?!)

Everything was really bad. Everything was terrible. Everything got screwed up. It was a month and a half since the Alucard and Seras has eaten something (someone). They were angry… really angry. Well, Seras was the one who lustfully looked at everything that moves. Her eyes were glowing like rotating beacons thanks to her hunger. During the night, when it was dark, everyone was slaughtered by these special effects. Lord Alucard, who, however, didn't sit in the dungeon and was walking in the castle almost every day, was a worst case. He had a wide (even wider than usual) smile on his face and was trying to sneak up on someone. Knowing him, you must assume that it was always successful. After trapping the first person he sees in the corner, he stood up, looking down on them, while wheezing quietly. After 14 people were sent to the hospital with hysterics, depressions, nervous tremors, faints and several attempts to slit their throats, the principal threatened Alucard with garlic and made him stop these actions. The game-keeper, who shot down more then half of the forest, was sent to some mental hospital. That's how the only Alu's homie in this castle was gone. And there were only a few bullets left. As a result: boredom and hunger. The vampire was slowly going mad. It wasn't obvious on the outside, but getting stronger and stronger inside Alucard. And finally, it happened…

Everything has begun, when Alucard had finally met Peeves. The local essence. That thing was harming everything and everyone. Nobody liked it. But caution didn't allow the poltergeist to approach Alucard. But it made a big mistake – it attacked Victoria. She could've dealt with him by herself, but Alu wasn't far away. After chasing after it for about 15 seconds, he caught the poltergeist and read him a lection about ethical issues. After ripping ¾ of ghost's extremities, he left only one leg and sent the ghost to Hellsing headquarters. The local butler was so happy, that he brought him and Seras a few bottles of blood. The big mistake was that it was dragon blood. No, the vampires liked it, and liked it a lot. But it had a strange side effect…

…Alucard opened his eyes, with a huge effort. His head was hurting like hell. While trying to move, he understood that someone is lying on him. He managed to lift his, head and saw that this person is Seras. His fear had no limits. She was absolutely naked. They were tied hand by hand with Alucard's tie. He didn't have any clothes on too. But the most frightening thing was that he remembered nothing. Nothing. Alucard has quickly grown some clothes and put the naked police girl in her coffin. He looked around, trying to determine the situation. The coffin was lying on its back, whining and jerking its hands. A global reconnaissance was needed immediately.

There was nothing but dead silence in the castle. An absolute silence. Filch's cat bumped into a wall two times, while trying to get away from Alu. Something was really wrong. The first teacher he saw has courageously jumped from the window. He didn't say a word. Alucard didn't even have time to ask. From time to time, he saw the remnants of mass destruction, like huge bullet holes right through four walls in a row. Slowly losing his mind, Alucard was continuing to look for something alive in the castle. Finally he saw a butler, who was trembling in the cornier. He had some obvious signs that someone or something has hit him really hard, especially on his face. After trapping him, Alucard quietly asked:

-And what happened here?

The story that Alucard heard went beyond any imagination. The dragon blood had the same effect on Alucard and Seras as the champagne with vodka on college girls. It means bad. Plus, the vampires fed the remnants of it to the coffin. Everything has begun fairly simple. Alucard and Seras got off from the dungeon, singing songs in the name of Hellsing and went "for a walk". Swinging their guns, they were catching everything that moves and everything that didn't move because they fainted the vampires were kicking first, until they were able to move and then catching the rest. After placing about twenty students, three teachers, one cat and two cockroaches against the wall, Alucard said:

-Everyone… Shall… Be… Executed…

-Yes, masta – Seras mumbled and started shooting.

But after about half a bottle of dragon blood (remember: champagne and vodka mixed together!) she could not hit any targets. Then Alucard tried, with the same result. After 31 seconds of shooting, they spat upon them and walked away. After half an hour, everybody has managed to get out from the remnants of the wall. Lucky for them, the vampires moved on to the village. The outcome: There was no village. Nothing. Only a clear field and dirty water.

While the vampire was listening to the events of the last night and thanking Filch for his gift, Snape decided to sneak in Alucard's study. He wasn't however prepared for a hentai scene of a girl, lying naked in a coffin. At the same time, Victoria managed to wake up. After seeing her state and blushing Snape near her, she became furious. And being in what Alucard has left her, she dashed to wipe out the assumed offender. When the vampire came in, he saw an amazing scene: Seras swinging her um… hands and furiously kicking the potions master. Alucard took away the human from the brutal Seras and read Snape a lection about the dangers of rape.

It took a week for everyone to calm down after the incident. 48 people were sent into a hospital.

-Walter! What the hell is this thing??

-I don't know sir Integra

-Kill it!

-Yes sir.

-That dumb vampire has hurt their butler…

-Noooo! Pleeaaase!!

-Yes Walter, yes…

-Father Anderson!

-Yes, Maxwell

-In the heretics' haven – England, Hellsing corrupts the minds of children! Alucard became a TEACHER!!

-I shall save the children!

-You have to teach too! You have to show them, that the true belief in God is stronger!! May the Force be with you – what the hell am I talking… Amen…


	8. Hi, it's me!

Chapter Eight: Hi, it's me!

-Walter! You have to go there! You have to replace their butler! Well, he's a steward, but it doesn't matter… And bring back THIS too!

-Will be done, sir Integra – signed Walter.

Ex-Shingami was really upset when he found out where he has to go. But he obviously didn't know how much fun do vampires have there. He had pity upon them and took a small fridge with blood and bullets for Alucard. After packing the contused poltergeist into a box (Peeves was yelling that he's going to be good from now on), Walter set off to the castle.

Father Anderson, driven by the lust of sermon and battle was flying towards the same destination. He wanted to show the damned demon that he can be defeated not only be weapons, but also by faith. After gathering everything that was long, sharp and sanctified, he departed. According to the plan, he has to work as some gamekeeper and a teacher of magical creatures.

The vampires met Walter like a Messiah. After getting the food and bullets they were carrying him on their arms. The butler was very pleased. The surprises began right after Walter has entered the castle. He could understand why all the people were running away from the vampires, but what he didn't get was why the students were avoiding him too, yelling "Oh my God, there's one more!" Walter just didn't get it. After arriving in the castle, he received the instructions and understood that he gets to do the easiest job. No physical stuff, just supervision. After he found out that he can even do nothing at all. Everything connected to Alucard was taken as the curse from the gods that cannot be dealt with, it can only be endured.

Anderson arrived 2 hours and 42 minutes after Walter. He didn't meet the vampires. But he really liked the children, they were so sweet. After checking the shack, he realized that it's just like his cell. Even the bed is just right for his stature.

Next day he met his first class. His dreams have come true! He's a teacher! At first, the students were shivering, but after half an hour of praying everyone were asleep.

-Ah, Father Alexander Anderson

-You cursed demon!

-Yes, me, so what?

-You seduce children's minds! It is a huge crime! Die!

-Ah, not again…

A tremendous battle has enraged. The students (and some teachers) were quickly making bets. At first, Anderson was in favor, but after Alucard has regenerated his head for the third time, the opinions have changed. Seras, tired from this scuffle, decided to end this friendly gathering. Choosing the right moment, she sneaked in right behind Anderson and tapped his shoulder

-Yes, my child – Anderson turned around. And saw how Harkonnen swishes through the air before it hit him right in the forehead. While Anderson was being stunned, Victoria grabbed him and kissed him very intensely. To say that everyone froze would be like saying nothing. Alucard shot himself in the head. After realizing that he's not sleeping he decided to just walk away. Leaving Anderson lagging, in the middle of the field, Seras went back to the castle too.

-Are you out of your mind?

-No, masta, I'll make him go crazy – the girl wasn't kidding.

"Wow, she actually can" – thought the vampire

-…But he broke the rules sir…

-But why do it like that?!

-No one told me anything; I just followed the instructions left my mister Filch

-Please unhook the child from the wall and untie him


End file.
